That's okay. Sometimes these are fears or limitations that can be worked up to and sometimes they aren't. Sometimes it is highly adaptive not to be courageous; it may not make sense to do something you can't get yourself to do. Focus on building your courage for other things, like putting a glass over the spider so someone else can take care of it, or coming out to your parents instead of your homophobic boss.
Build confidence. Having confidence allows you to trust in your abilities and yourself, and realize that you are more than your fears. When you have confidence in yourself you will find it easier to take courageous action. Learning to have confidence takes practice. You can trick your mind into confidence by pretending that you are confident.
Tell yourself you can ask that girl you like on a date and, whatever she says, you won't care much. You can also expand your posture and actually feel more confident and powerful. Don't let your failures or limitations dictate who you are.
Failure simply means that you are trying; it is something to learn from, not to avoid. Make sure to remind yourself that your failures do not define you unless you let them. Have faith in yourself. Courage involves trusting yourself and believing in yourself. Tell yourself that you have something to offer. Remember arrogance and confidence are different. Part 2. Build your courage for specific scenarios.
It takes different kinds of courage to ask out someone you are interested in, to speak to your boss about a raise, or to confront a bully. One thing all of these scenarios will require is a show of confidence, whatever you actually feel. Confidence and courage come through acting as if you are unafraid, even and especially when you are. Have courage when you ask someone out. When you ask someone out, the best way is to be direct, even if it is scary to put yourself out there. Practice what you're going to say ahead of time.
If you can, talk to her in private. Think about how great it might be if she says yes; isn't that worth the risk? Be respectful of her decision and be proud of yourself for being courageous!
Display courage when you speak up to your boss. It can be scary to talk to your supervisor, especially if it's about problems you're having at work; it's also awkward to have conversations about money. However, if you frame it more as a conversation than a confrontation, you may be more likely to get your way. It's okay to feel nervous, don't fight it.
Make sure to breathe normally and speak with conviction. If the conversation backfires, step back and re-assess. If you think about it and feel that you were in the right, consider getting your human resources department involved. Alternatively, sometimes the better thing to do is change jobs; some people are very stubborn and choosing not to fight every battle doesn't mean that you lack courage.
Show courage when you confront a bully. When you're confronting a bully, remember to act as if you're feeling brave and confident. You'll trick yourself and her into thinking you aren't afraid. Act confident in yourself even if you don't feel particularly confident. If the bullying gets work in the aftermath of your confrontation, get help from a teacher or parent. Knowing when to get outside help is courageous in itself. It shows that you are being honest with yourself about the reality of the situation.
Part 3. Additionally, the more you are able to face your fears, the more you will replace your fear-based response with a courageous one. Here are some other benefits of courage:. Being fearful is a powerful force that can lead to stagnation. In fact, if fear is not viewed correctly it can prevent you from achieving your goals and pursuing opportunities.
Consequently, many people allow fear to keep them stuck in their comfort zone rather than flexing their courage muscles and trying something new in spite of the risks. If you find this scenario sounds an awful lot like your life, you may want to delve a little deeper and determine the areas in your life where you could be more courageous.
For instance, do you need to go after that promotion at work rather than just hoping they notice your hard work? Or, do you feel like you should speak up the next time the office bully is putting someone down? There are probably countless areas in your life where you can be a little more courageous.
Here are some ways to help you embrace courage and implement it into your life. Too many times, people assume that you are either born courageous or you're not. And while it is true that some people could be more predisposed to displaying courage, that doesn't mean that all is lost for you. And while some people might be born with more defined muscles than others, everyone has the ability to improve their courage muscles with the right training and practice.
Likewise, it's important to recognize that fear is not a bad thing. In fact, in some ways fear is healthy. For instance, fear triggers your nervous system and your survival instincts that are designed to keep you safe. For this reason, you might feel fearful when approached by a stranger in a dark alley or you might feel fearful during a tornado. Instead of assuming that being fearful is a bad thing, look at it as an opportunity to learn more about who you are and why you might be afraid or less than thrilled about stepping out of your comfort zone.
You might find that if you take the time to name your fear and understand why it's there, that you will uncover a better idea of how to overcome it or be courageous in spite of it. In fact, research shows that putting your feelings into words helps curb your negative responses to fear. Instead, it makes you brave. After all, it is not easy to acknowledge where you are vulnerable. So, if you are able to acknowledge your fears, you're one step closer to being courageous.
Consequently, rather than minimizing your fear or denying that it exists, recognize what is holding you back. By acknowledging your fear—either by writing it down or by sharing it with a supportive person—you are empowering yourself to be courageous in spite of feeling fearful. When it comes to living a life filled with courage, it helps to begin by identifying what you're good at as well as where you have been successful. In fact, research shows that people who recognize and develop their strengths not only feel happier and less depressed but are also more resilient.
Additionally, knowing what you're good at helps boost your confidence, which makes it more likely you will take risks and be courageous. Likewise, when you're confident in your abilities, you're much more willing to go all-in when an opportunity presents itself. What's more, when you are struggling with fear and want to incorporate more courage in your life, it's natural to focus on your shortcomings and your weaknesses. But, doing this just makes it less likely that you will feel courageous.
For this reason, it's important to think about what you're good at as a way of building your confidence and your courage. When it comes to being courageous, it's helpful to imagine not only the worst thing that could happen if you take a risk but also what would happen if you didn't act at all. Many times, comparing the two extremes is all you need to move beyond your fears because most of the time, the worst thing that could happen is often minimal in comparison to what you could gain by acting.
To truly live courageous lives, we need like-minded people around us who are also trying to honor the values of courage. Creating courageous communities gives us the support to face challenges. There are simply communities—sometimes of just one other person—who make change believable. To apply this to living with more courage, we need to examine our relationships and distinguish those that are rooted simply in convenience such as meeting up with coworkers for a drink from those where like-minded people share similar, courageous values such as kindness, vulnerability, optimism, and empathy.
Kate Swoboda is the creator of YourCourageousLife. She coaches individuals, teams, and organizations on developing more courage in life and in business, and her work has been featured in USA Today , Forbes , Business Insider , and other publications.
Become a subscribing member today. Scroll To Top On any given day, many of us wrestle with our fears. Body Scan Feeling tense? Start by building resilience. When you have a growth mindset , you believe you can learn through your failures and try again.
To overcome fear, try to approach anything you do with a beginner's mind. Learning not to judge an outcome as good or bad will take the fear of failure out of the equation. Instead of aiming for perfection, aim to learn and grow. It means taking action despite feeling afraid. Fear can guide you towards the areas of your life that need the most work. Practicing positive self-talk or putting yourself in challenging situations are small but powerful steps to build self-confidence and become a brave person.
What steps will you take today to challenge yourself and others? A BetterUp coach can help you develop the skills you need to overcome fear and reach your full potential. Request a demo to get started. Unlock your best self with mental fitness routines with Tara Lipinski and Johnny Weir. Follow us. Be brave even if you aren't yet 9 ways to conquer your fears By Maggie Wooll. July 22, - 27 min read. Share this article. Jump to section Is fear holding you back from making life-changing decisions?
Is fear always a bad thing? How to be courageous: 9 ways to become fearless Learn how to be brave and inspire others. Well-being Mental Fitness Consumer.
Maggie Wooll Managing Editor. Read Next. Employee Experience. Stay connected with BetterUp. Get our newsletter, event invites, plus product insights and research. All rights reserved.
0コメント